The Sport Superlatives - Issue No. 16

April 19, 2024

🏆 The Superlatives 🏆

The Scoreless (in a yikes way): Klay Thompson

Golden State Warriors’ Klay Thompson went scoreless in the team's loss against the Sacramento Kings this week. The game also eliminated Golden State from the Play-In Tournament. In his last game, before hitting free agency, Thompson shot 0-of-10 from the field and 0-of-6 from 3-point range. 

This is reportedly the first time Thompson has gone scoreless since his rookie season. It’s ok, Klay Klay. We all have off days. Maybe pick a game that doesn’t matter for your off-day next year, huh?

The Scoreless (but in a good way): Jake Irvin

Over in the MLB, Jake Irvin pitched six scoreless innings against the LA Dodgers. The Washington Nationals pitcher helped the team win 2-0. It was the first time this season that the Dodgers were shut out. The Nationals won two out of the three games of the series. Looks like Jake (not from State Farm) and them may be a team to watch this season! 

🏒 Pucking Playoffs: The NHL regular season ended Thursday, 4/18. Know what that means? It’s time for the playoffs! Here is the current 2024 Stanley Cup playoff picture:

Learn more about the NHL postseason here. 

We’ll be watching for sure, if for no other reason than to see those playoff beards hockey players are known to sport.

🏀 Are you In or Out? The play-in tournament is underway, and the 7th seeds have been solidified.

Western Conference

• LeBron and friends have secured the 7th seed after defeating the New Orleans Pelicans. Unfortunately, Zion sustained a hamstring injury during the beatdown that will cause him to be out [AGAIN] as his team battles the 9th-seeded Sacramento Kings for the 8th seed tonight, Friday, April 19, at 9 pm.

• Meanwhile, Steph and his Warriorettes have started an uncharacteristically early vacation after losing their play-in game against the Kings…well, scratch that… Steph still has a gold medal to chase down. 

Eastern Conference

• On the opposite coast, the 7th seed was secured by a fully staffed 76ers team that has been on the up and up since the return of their main attraction, Joel Embiid. They defeated the Miami Heat by the skin of their teeth and injured Jimmy Butler along the way. 

• Later that night, the Bulls thoroughly and uneventfully defeated the ATL Hawks, who had no business playing after the end of the regular season anyway. Shoutout to Bulls guard Coby White for leading the charge with a career-high 42 pts that count towards nothing as far as stats go.

• The Butler-less Heat will face the Chicago Bulls tonight, Friday, April 19, at 7 p.m. to decide who will advance to the playoffs as the 8th seed…only to be demolished by the Celtics.

Now that we’re done scraping around the bottom of the barrel, it’s time for the actual playoffs to begin! Tune in this weekend as the teams battle to the death for the right to hoist the Larry O’Brien trophy! Jk, it’s just basketball; there's no death involved. See the schedule here. 

⛳ Master of Millions: Congrats to Scottie Scheffler on winning the Masters last Sunday. This makes number two for Scheffler, who is still sitting atop golf rankings and hasn’t had a game over par since late August. 

Apparently, green is his color because 3.6 million dollars comes along with that 2000s oversized jacket. Throughout the season, Scottie Boy has stacked up a whopping 15 million, which almost doubles the amount brought in by the next highest earner this season. Whew. Perhaps it’s time for us to dust off the old nine iron. 

🏈 Job Blocker: In January, former NE Patriots head coach Bill Belichick caused quite a stir when he announced he was leaving the Patriots after 24 seasons with the team and six Super Bowl wins. Now, you would think a coach with that kind of record would have teams lining up to interview him, right? Well… unfortunately, Bill has quite the reputation of wanting things done a certain way, aka he likes to be in charge as head coach and general manager. So, out of the seven teams that had a head coach vacancy, the only team that interviewed Bill was the Atlanta Falcons. 

Have you ever walked out of an interview and just knew you killed it, and you started planning your response to the job offer in your head? That was Bill after meeting with Falcons owner Arthur Blank, but Bill didn’t know that his opps were working OT. Neither the Falcons nor any other team extended Belichick an offer for the upcoming football season. 

Rumor has it that his former employer and owner of the Patriots, Robert Kraft, called up his buddy Blank and shared a few thoughts on Bill as an HC. The Patriots organization has denied that they negatively impacted the Falcon’s hiring decision… but haven’t we all had bosses or colleagues who would love to throw shade on our name if given the opportunity? Well, better luck next year, Bill!

🏅 Letting it All Hang Out:  The world of sports has been up in arms over Nike's Olympic uniform kit. The uniforms that Nike has rolled out for Paris’ Olympic track and field women athletes have been deemed a bit too revealing by some online onlookers and LuLu legging connoisseurs. Many wondered if Nike was trying to save money on the fabric by using less of it on the leotards. Or maybe, based on the lack of fabric in the nether regions, they wanted to make bathroom breaks easier. Several Olympic athletes have weighed in and expressed their concerns. 

Still, Nike is standing ten toes down on their design, saying, “Nike designed the Paris 2024 track and field kits to offer athletes a range of silhouettes tailored for various sport disciplines, body types, and sizes, prioritizing performance and maximum breathability”.  Either way, we don’t need a sequel to the Janet Jackson/ Justin Timberlake Super Bowl. But what do y’all think?

Your sports term of the week is: par.

IRL Example: 

So, y’all remember that bell curve they taught you about in school? Well, par would be average right there in the middle. Under par, in this scenario, is the overachievers who threw off the curve and over par would refer to those underachievers who just came to socialize.

Don’t call it a comeback; jorts have been here for years!

As the weather warms up, some of our favs are showing a bit of skin in their jorts, aka jean shorts. 

Ready to step back into the early 2000s with some loose-fitting jorts? Dress them up, dress them down. It’s your world, girlie. We’re just here to help give you options!

Try these at Free People:

Or, H&M also has a cute pair 🙂 

See you next week!

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